This week was a little messy, emotionally speaking. Ah, but isn't that always the case for me. I think it just left me all confused about my feelings. Well, not not my feelings per say. I know how I feel, and I'm sure of how I feel, but the confusion I guess, lies in the fear I have whether or not I should take another shot at giving up my heart completely to someone, or to put my guard up and trust no one again. I went through that phase of not trusting anyone for a long, long time and it sucks. The way you get paranoid everyday, with your mind constantly being filled with thoughts of worst case scenarios, preparing myself for the worst. I don't want that again. I want to be able to actually go with the flow for once, not waiting in suspense for things that might or might never happen. I want to be one of those people that can live each day as it is, enjoying the moment. You have no idea how much I crave that, and I think over the past few weeks I've started changing a little, towards that. Impromptu meetings with friends and not planning ahead. I know that doesn't qualify as living in the moment, but I'd like to think that I've been making progress through my teeny weeny baby steps.
I was told not to break your heart, but what if you break mine?
