Day 1.

Hopes, dreams, and plans for the next 365 days with a picture of yourself

   As weird as I look, it was a happy memory. It was the day my heart was broken, yet again by someone who I thought would never hurt me. It was the day I realized how much of a pushover I was, and how much caring for someone doesn't necessarily mean they'll do the same for you. Albeit the pain that was consuming all of my insides, I was with friends that made me smile and I was listening to music that made me cry.

   Let's put aside the generic hopes and dreams of doing well in school, because that's the given. But more importantly, I hope that I'll be happy. I hope that I'll never settle for something or someone just for a happiness so fleeting and transient. I hope that I'll genuinely be happy and that I'll be able to wake up every morning and not think about how much hurt people have inflicted on me and how much more hurt people are going to inflict on me. I hope that I can wake up and smile. For once, I want to smile not because I'm asked to or to make a photo look pretty, but I want to smile and I want to laugh till it annoys everyone around me. I want to laugh so hard till I can't breathe. I want to look forward to the days that are about to come. I want to achieve something for myself, that in 10 years down the road, I'll be able to look back and said I did something for me, I did something that made me proud, I achieved something. Yes, I want to be happy.

   Plans? Well,  to work on myself mostly. To not hold all this hate and all this pain that I've been carrying so close to my heart. I want to learn how to love myself, so that one day, I'll be capable of loving someone the right way. I want to rid myself of all the insecurities and all the little voices in my head that fuel my worrisome thoughts. I want to listen to great music and I want to visit great places. I want to meet amazing people with riveting thoughts. I want to learn more about myself, and ask myself things I was too afraid to question. I want to be daring. I want to be able to say 'no' to people that use me, and 'yes' to people that need me. I want to see the good in people, because for a long, long time, I've been trying my hardest not to, in fear that I'll end up losing a part of myself as they walk out of my life so effortlessly, the same way they did as they walked in.